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lookherup

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WHY ITS SO HARD TO LOVE SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE THEMSELVES.


Do you feel you get satisfaction and fulfillment from helping your partner? We can only handle being patient with someone so much. I can never really tell a person exactly what they should do because ultimately, it would be up to them. The best I can give is my genuine advice and state their options that I feel may be best suited.
You may still love that person who doesn’t love themselves, but at the same time, it is not your responsibility to teach them over and over again. If leaving the relationship was a thought in your mind, there is nothing wrong with it. When you love someone, sometimes it is best to let them go. And when you love someone, it does not mean you need to be with them. 

You ever hear someone say, "Why do I always find myself in these situations? Why are all girls or guys like this? “
Well just remember - the whole time it was really entirely up to you.
You will always find yourself attracting these situations if you don’t do anything about it.

When your partner is always negative, it is hard to get them to understand when he or she refuses your help.
First of all, you can never help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.
If you know a person who doesn’t love themselves, for some reason they always think they love you back. Yes, it might sound nice to people imagining that your partner actually loves you more than they love themselves.  Oh, and I’m sure that people like the idea of that, but it is simply a lack of consideration and nothing but selfish.

  If you feel you are in a situation where you love someone but don’t love yourself, It is impossible to love someone back.
Why? Because loving someone always starts with truly loving yourself first. (I refer to who your first and your last love is in my previous post!)

People can literally believe in their own lies. It’s like no matter what you say or do, that person will never change. 
And not to say that you should LEAVE a person right away if they don’t love themselves, but you can try. We’ve all been there before. 
What works for one may not work for the other.
Some people are better off learning when they are alone.

Your partner will always find ways to see the worst in every situation.
Surrounding yourself with that type of energy can make you become like the vary person you love the most.
I’ve watched people change; get easily mad and influenced by their partners. Subconsciously, drama makes people feel alive. 
These situations happen in relationships where we need one to lift us back up again, but If we depend on it, it will be hard to maintain the relationship in the long term.
When you try to compliment your partner or help them, they don’t know how to accept it or don’t believe what you say. They don’t realize why you loved them in the first place. 
Loving someone shouldn’t feel like it’s hard. When you find someone and you see how easy it is to love them, it should show you and remind you of how easy it was to love yourself by just changing your state of mind. Not everyone will think this way, but it is good to give yourself or someone perspective that may change everything.

 Over time things get frustrating and seem pointless. It is as if things seemed so perfect for awhile when you were “ in love “, but this gets disrupted when you can’t get your partner to see the brighter side of things. This is when arguments, emotional dissatisfaction and conflicts begin to arise. The balance between the positive and negative are no longer balanced and results in destructive cycles. Was it love in the first place? Or was it just an addictive grasping and clinging? If you experience “ love “ and the opposite of love — verbal or physical attack, emotional violence, and so on — It is very likely that you or your partner is confusing an ego attachment and addictive clinging with love. True love has no opposite. 

The negative side can manifest in many forms such as:
Jealousy, possessiveness, controlingness, unspoken resentment, the need to always be right, and anger.

Your partner will find ways to compare themselves to other people.
You may find that they have an ego that is simply weakness disguised as strength. 
However, you start to notice that your partner becomes very needy and feels like they cannot live without you.
Again, in these situations, It is a battle to be with someone who will always find a reason to talk down on themselves and other people.
Now if, no matter what you do to bring your partner up and it doesn’t work, you will feel that your efforts are wasted.
Long term, if you decide to stay with them and don’t do anything about it, it will suck you in to having the same mentality as them.
Sometimes your partner’s ego is so subconscious that their attacks or attempts of manipulation is like sufficient punishment to you that it can induce the change in your behaviour and thus use that to cover up for their own pain. This isn’t true love.
You cannot love your partner one moment and attack them the next.
When you feel you are always looking after your partner, your own needs become neglected and suppressed. Other people’s failure to love themselves should 
never make you forget to love yourself.
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  • Do I need you or do I want you? No, I simply want you. I love the way you make me feel, how you make me laugh, how you make me feel beautiful and how you make me feel like time just flies when we’re together. I love how you make me feel but it isn’t something I need. Why? Because whatever happens between us, life goes on. 
          - with or without you.                   
  • To live, we don’t need anyone.  People have become so dependent on having a partner or just need to have people around them. We are around people and with our partners because we CHOOSE to.


People think they NEED to absolutely have a partner so they spend lots of time going out of their way to look for their ‘ soul mate ‘.

To need something implies dependency and reliance.

To need someone in times of crisis or extreme sadness is completely normal but needing constantly becomes suffocating. Mind you, this does not apply to young children for nurturing or financial support. This relates more for two functional adults, friendships and relationships.

Needs and wants can camoflauge into making you believe you love a person.
In the beginning of a relationship, a needy trait in someone is easily overlooked because you are so infatuated with that person.  Over time, you may realize that it starts to become a turn off.  When you fall in love you become so accustomed to that person that your want becomes need. You begin to feel that you cannot live without that person.

If you truly love someone, wouldn’t you want to KNOW that the person you’re with is actually happy and love themselves enough that they don’t need you? One doesn’t need to depend on you? In my opinion, its a nice feeling. Now there are those who are not happy unless they can feel that you actaully NEED them. Is that fair?
It doesn’t sound genuine to me. It sounds more like a set up for a toxic relationship. Why? Because as soon as someone thinks you NEED them, they will step all over you. Sooner or later, it will end up being thrown at your face.

As they say “never eat with those who brag about feeding you“. 
These people don’t want you to think you can stand alone. If your partner does something for you, it should be because they genuinely wanted to. Not because they felt like they had to or needed to. Needing someone doesn’t mean you are loving them. I know when someone is needy when they start to lose the desire to complete tasks on their own.

There is way more to loving someone than thinking you need to depend on them for everything. 

Couples do things for each other, Thats a given. But when you think they NEED to do something for you constantly,  thats called being dependent or reliant.
Some people are so needy that they stay in relationships with people that they absolutely don’t want to be with anymore. Why do they do that? They’ve become so reliant to their partner because he or she was a handy man, a good cook, takes care of you financially.. etc.

People search for whomever will make them happy. What happens when that person is no longer there? You’re no longer happy. You were depending on that person to make you happy all the time. Ultimately, real happiness is found within yourself. These are life situations where you will never be happy and always feel stuck.
Needs and wants can be replaced if you feel you found something better to please you.

Once you know that you don’t need anyone. You will experience freedom and save yourself from unwanted pain.
You will know you never needed anyone just to make you feel appreciated and worthy. All you needed was you and self-love!
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Hi everyone!
I hope everyone is doing well. I totally forgot how to use deviant art so I am so so slow at this.. but I'm getting there. Lately I've been working on a small little fun project that has to do with my current lifestyle so I thought I could have some play around with it.. why not right? :)
So I will be working on posting parodys, comedy skits, my travel experiences, What I like/enjoy etc.
I finally just put out my website which is called:

Website: WWW.GREENPiL.COM
Fbook: GREENPiLco
Instagram: GREENPiLco
Youtube: GREENPiL

I am a totally newb to all of this so if you please show your support I would gladly appreciate that!
Follow, like & subscribe !!❤️

This is a new exciting beginning for me I hope you can also become a part of this experience with me!!

CHECK OUT MY FIRST VIDEO
*PANDA VEGGIE REMIXXXXX!!!!*
LOLLLL :)

m.youtube.com/watch?v=fmX0zEwa…

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hey guys!!!!!

1 min read
Sorry i haven't been active on this for a while but hey hi hello im back! :) Hope everyone is enjoying the summer as much as I've been! I did lots of fun stuff so far.. been playing on a softball league, went camping (SO MUCH FUN), and just spending a lot of time with family and friends :) Miss you deviant art Peeps!!!! ;)
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Salut!!

1 min read
hey guys sorry its been a while!! just been caught up on so many things but stick around for some new sets coming up :)
These pictures are from a place called the Scarborough Bluffs!! :iconsideshowsito: and I had lots of fun shooting here minus the cold and mini flies that were going in my mouth lol

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